There are many popular Kenyan proverbs – ‘Hii jua ni ya Mvua’, ‘Niko kwa jam nakam’ and the latest ‘I’ll start saving next month’ – lakini tomorrow never comes. But there are the cool Joes who aren’t bothered kama kasalo kameingia, while you check your balance every two seconds to a fault. Kuna bank fulani walikuwa wanadeduct checking fee even when there’s nothing so your balance would read negative something. But what are chills? We hope they gained some since.
There are many popular Kenyan proverbs – ‘Hii jua ni ya Mvua’, ‘Niko kwa jam nakam’ and the latest ‘I’ll start saving next month’ – lakini tomorrow never comes. But there are the cool Joes who aren’t bothered kama kasalo kameingia, while you check your balance every two seconds to a fault. Kuna bank fulani walikuwa wanadeduct checking fee even when there’s nothing so your balance would read negative something. But what are chills? We hope they gained some since.
Anyhu, if you’d like to know, I am one of the blue eyed boys when it comes to managing my finances. My mates often ask how I can go to jiweka pale, make it to Wakanda, sort the famo with a lil something every weekend and still Uber to the office in time to order a beautiful breakers meal from Java J
Well, decisions had to be made. Inevitably you get tired of being broke all the time. If you are not tired, you’re not ready my fren! Kusota huchosha nani! Me and kukopa one side. We were inseparable, before I started saving on my KCB M-PESA account. (Btw if you’re one of those guys who lent me cash, thank you. You saw me through days darker than the future of bitcoin in Kenya. Wueh!)
I started saving so much that I thought ‘hey, why not have multiple savings accounts?’ So you can find me pale KCB – Niko na KCB M-PESA Target Savings Account, KCB M-PESA Fixed Savings Account na KCB GOAL Account, just becauseJ.
How did I become such a great saver? Kitambo, I was banking with some premium banks that I would rather not mention. I had multiple accounts split among these banks to store my entry level salo because what are we than our social status, right? I think it’s a no brainer where I bank now. KCB really is Bae; I’m not even trynna sell here yaani.
Gifting is SO expensive. Half the time we spend so much money on people we don’t even like so I thinned my circle my real hittaz that are cool with kibadanski as they are with… with… I don’t even know expensive practical places to eat! I’m doing well my fren!
Why have we become okay with Friday being burn day to our pay cheques??? Stay indoors; invite your friends over and host a BYOB (Bring your Own Botiz).Snacks are affordable. Tucrisps pale… popcorn… and warn them forehand by texting that it’s a cocktails and bitings kind of kickback!
Eat at home. This one is a song we’ve heard too many times! KDFs are amazing and affordable but kila siku all year round? That’s about 3650 that could have gone into something else more useful. Kama tumbo mbele, life itakuwa hard.
Be cheap – mambo ya kuchafua meza, hapan tambua! Someone told me of an experience where their mate asked for a loan in the same setting he was buying botties of Henny. Also, don’t we all know the boychild who chafuas then wanaenda kujazana in some 1bedroom Hurlingham? 2018 we are not doing this. Basically, #Tessaaaa shouldn’t feature on your social media more than once a month. You cannot earn an entry salo and party like LMFAO, LMAO! *cue Kevin Hart’s voice* STAY IN YOUR LANE!
Still on being cheap, I am gaga for discounts and sales and loyalty programs! So I pay my Uber with my KCB card and redeem my Simba Points when I’m indulging in a guilty pleasure without puncturing my budget.
Write a list – You didn’t survive compositions and essays za 844 for you to be unable to write a list when you’re going shopping. That means shopping shouldn’t be a spur in the moment affair. Plan so you’re not caught up in impulse buying.
Bargain everywhere! I used to curl up in shame when my old lady would bargain; but that lady once got me a pair of boots for 5sok down from 3K. The boots are now turning 4yrs in my possession and are in tip top shape!
“Avoid stress spending” – I am actually quoting this from a post I read. In this economy? Bruh, I garra go!
Buy second hand/ex UK. Seriously, we probably don’t know where to get this stuff so I’ll let you in on a lead. My momma (that woman is amazing) sells this stuff. Cheza kwa DM, lol!
Lastly, live like a cat. I don’t mean break everything in your way. Minimalism is everything! Declutter and sell stuff you don’t need.
Thank me later!
Over&Out,
The Witty Banker
